It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord has a way of telling me just how much he loves me. For the past 5 years, I have served in a Primary presidency. 5 years ago, at the age of 23 and with 1 1/2 year old twins and a 3 year old, I was called as the 2nd counselor in a newly organized ward. I had to build EVERYTHING for the cub program in our ward. On top of that, we were a brand new presidency which meant we had to establish EVERYTHING for our primary. It was an incredible journey and I was privileged to work with amazing women. Little did I know, my journey as the 2nd counselor was preparing me for a much greater call. Almost 2 years later, I was called as the Primary President. That was 3 years ago, almost to the day. Today, my journey comes to an end, but with it, I have the sweetest assurance that I have done my best and that my Father in Heaven has accepted the effort and sacrifices I have made to serve Him. This week has been a week full of sweet reminders that the Lord knows me. It began in the early Monday morning hours when I awoke uncharacteristically early and received a tender impression that my time as Primary President was drawing to a close. That morning I juggled the various feelings that accompanied that impression, but started my day with the most beautiful calm in my heart and mind. Wednesday afternoon, I received a phone call from my Activity Day leader asking if she could have the girls do a service project for me. A few hours later, I opened my door to find the pictures below. Instantly I broke into tears. It was a door; I knew that, but for some reason it was a culmination of a thousand prayers and countless hours of pondering and planning and teaching. The words on those little notes could not have meant more if God himself had reached down and whispered them. Over the next couple of days, I continued to have sweet experiences that reaffirmed my feelings and also reaffirmed my gratitude for the opportunity I have had to serve. I feel no loss. In fact, I am excited to watch as new women begin their journey. I love watching how the church functions and I love the way it's members serve and sacrifice for a God that they know and love.
My bishop asked me today how I would describe my feelings of being a Primary president. I told him the only word that came to mind was GRATITUDE. I can guarantee that as the years go by, these kids won't remember me. They'll forget my name and they'll forget my face, but I know that through my sharing times and through the lessons I was able to teach, they felt the Spirit. That was my only hope - that I could somehow be a window and that through me they could feel the love that our Father in Heaven has for them. I know that happened. I am also grateful for the changes that took place in me. I certainly do not know it all, but I know more now, then I ever knew before that God IS REAL. That He loves me and that He knows me. In Mosiah 5:13 it says, "For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served and who is a stranger unto him and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart." Over the past 5 years, I have served God diligently. I wasn't perfect; I'm still not perfect. But I gave when I thought I had nothing left to give. I held on when I wasn't even sure how. And now, through it all, this scripture reassures me that I know why I did. I was serving a master that I know and love. I was strengthened, lifted, lightened and carried and now I am able to say without any reservation that God lives. I felt him today; I have felt him everyday. There is no doubt in my mind that "through small and simple things great things are brought to pass" because I am one of those simple things. I have learned so much through the journey I have enjoyed for the past 5 years. I have been witness to so many tender moments and so many sweet assurances. Next week is our Primary Program. How I can make it through it without crying my eyes out, I have no idea! I know God lives and I am grateful I have had the chance to serve him. I would never change a thing. I confidently hand over the torch to the next amazing woman and trust that God is at the helm! (And you are all welcome to come over tonight for ice cream to celebrate...hehe!)
